Staying Positive

This past weekend started out amazing. I celebrated my friend’s birthday in Andong on Friday and we had a great time. I met an amazing guy and we danced all night. He said he wanted to see me again and we kissed when he had to go home. Usually, I don’t really believe guys when they tell me this. I’ve heard it many times. It’s the “Thanks for a good time, I’ll call yah” line. Usually it ends with an awkward wave, sometimes a thank you, and it’s always quick. So, why did I believe him? Why him?




I have no freaking clue. But it put me on cloud nine. It really got my weekend jump-started.



I had to go to Busan for another friend’s birthday. This city is about 3 hours away or a little less by bus. No problem. I had gotten there a little early so I could eat lunch while I waited for my two friends. Circumstances would have it that we missed the bus. One of us had to use the toilet and the bus driver was impatient and wouldn’t wait the extra minute. So, instead of taking the bus directly to Busan we decided to take the bus to Daegu and from there catch the train.



Once in Busan we found out the hard way that my friend’s house is pretty far from where we would be celebrating. After about two hours of additional traveling we then had to figure out how to meet up with everyone else. We took a bus and a taxi. All the while my good friend was complaining about the taxi prices. She said that missing the bus in Andong was a sign that this weekend was going to go badly. I tried to stay positive. I even offered to pay for her taxi ride since she was stressing so much.



The night out was great. We had a lot of fun. I had to push away the advances of other guys because I was still caught up in the glow of meeting someone in my city. What are the chances? Such a small town and such a great guy!



We make it back to our hotel and my friend has lost her cardigan. She left it at the club. A 600.00 cardigan. I try to stay positive and even offer to ask my mom to make one for her and that I’d pay for everything…Thankfully, after a lot of phone calls she locates it and someone promised to hold it at a local convenience store until she can pick it up.



The next day we head out around 1pm. To make a very long story short it took us about six hours to finally make it to the bus station. I stayed positive. When we finally got there we misread the time and missed our bus. So we had to wait another hour. My belt broke in the bathroom.



Still, I’m trying to stay positive.



Then I get the text message that would ultimately bring all my positive energy to a screeching haut. He doesn’t want to see me again.



The reasons are the normal ones. We are too different. He can’t casually date at his age. He said he hopes I find a good man and that he’s sorry.



No, I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I’m attracted to the men of this country that can’t even see me as a possible serious relationship. A Korean man and a foreign girl? That’s madness. I asked him if there was something wrong with me? Was I lacking in some area? Not funny enough? What?

Apparently I’m great…but he has to date seriously at his age.



I don’t think they realize how much it hurts when they say this. I had built up a wall and had decided a while ago not to let them get to my head. This one slipped in and was like a wrecking ball. I never thought I wouldn’t be considered marriage material. I’m not the girl you mess around with and move on. I’m the girl you marry.

I’ve learned the hard way that in this country, it’s the opposite.



So, after a tearful cry on a friend’s shoulder I’ve decided to keep positive. That I fell for this guy in such a short amount of time shows me that I’m not emotionally stunted like I thought I was. I realized that my value is much higher than I was selling myself for—my time, my energy, my kisses are all priceless and it’s about time I act like it.



Trying to stay positive.

Pay it forward.

I hope this works...

This video inspired me. Today I was a little bitter, a little negative, a little unlovable. All because the windows were open in an already cold office. Because I knew I'd be at the office all day with NOTHING to do. It wears on me to the point where I feel like there is little good left in me.

This video reminded me of all the times I've tried to pay it forward and have received love in return.

There was one instance in particular when I was in Thailand. We were at a HUGE beach party, Full Moon Party, and things were getting crazy. One woman was very drunk and very pushy because of it. She was angry, bitter, and had no problem swinging her little weight around. A different girl jumped up on the stool and was dancing. I saw that her shoe was untied and asked if I could tie it. The bitter drunk lady tried to slap at my hands asking "Why do you do this to her? She will probably kick you in the face for your trouble." The girl on the stool didn't hear it and was laughing at the fact that I was tying her shoe. She found it so funny she lifted her other foot for me to tie that one as well. I wasn't insulted but the other woman was. She started to yell at the stool dancing girl.
I calmed her down with these words: "I do this because I don't want her to fall off the stool because of her laces. I would feel bad and she would be hurt. Why can't I do this kindness for someone else? Let me do this."
The lady stopped and stared. I finished tying the girl's other shoe and didn't care if I got a 'thanks' or not. Seeing the other woman's confusion I smiled and tried to explain, "Really, it's for selfish reasons. I'll be able to have more fun knowing that the girl won't trip because of this. Everyone will have more fun because there won't be a bloody drunk girl sprawled across the sand." I patted the poor woman on the shoulder and said, "I'd do the same for you."
I think I just rocked her socks off. Ha ha.

Later that night there was a bar fight. I was in the middle of it. One dude saw that I might be in danger and litterally dragged me away. I see that as a "Pay it forward" There was NO way I would have been able to get out of there on my own steam. The crowd was too thick.


So, we didn't paint a wall. We didn't give a baby it's toy. We didn't rake our neighbors leaves.
I tied a shoe. He got me out of a fight. I hope someone saw and paid it forward.

My After School Activities

So, I plan on buying a car mainly so I can help out a lot more than I've been able to in the past. I want to be able to help out in cases like these:

This is Saelum. She needs a home. When she was a baby her eye became infected and ruptured. It doesn't stop her from being sweet and kind. If fact, I can't help but think she's a pirate. Ha ha.

This is Bobae. He was sick as a baby too which is why his eyes are a little cloudy. He can see perfectly fine and is super affectionate!!

This is Silverstar. She's a loner. Doesn't like anything but people. I kind of like that about her. She's the opposite of me. Ha ha.

This is Tinkerbell. Sweet Overlord of all that is cute.

And last, but not least, Acalia. She's shy and needs a lot of love in order for her to return affection. She doesn't like anyone or anything...except Tinkerbell.

These are the current animals I'm trying to help find homes :)

Funny Principal :)

Sippin' on my coffee and the principal comes up to me. First thing he says is, "Do you know Adam and Eve?"


Where is this going? He knows I'm a Christian since we've had this discussion before. So, with a little confusion I say "Yes".
He then proceeds to say:

"Adam was in the garden talking to God and asks, 'God, why did you make woman so beautiful?' God says 'It is simple, so you will love her.'

Adam then replies, 'God, why did you make woman with long flowing hair soft to touch and reflecting the light around them?'

God again replies 'It is simple, so you will love her.'

... ... Adam has one more question 'God, then why is woman so dumb?'

God takes a moment before responding, 'Tis simple, so she will love you.' "



I almost choked on my coffee. Ha ha ha ha...Way to go Principal. Way to go...

Desk Warming: Day 1

My desk warming log:


I walk to school. A fools notion that I'd get a kick start to my resolution to be more healthy for the year 2013. My steps are slow and my breath is labored but the music buzzing into my ears keeps me going. I get to the top of the mountain and see my school, it's bright red and white covering a sharp contrast to the winter blue sky in the background. My eyes seek out any sign of life--none but a weathered old man devout to his own exercise regimen that neither snow nor rain nor heat nor darkness can keep him from accomplishing his appointed course with all speed. No cars. I’m alone, it would seem. I stomp up the steps and notice a splash of color. Oh no!!! A bird (a kind of finch, I think) has flown into the glass doors. Its helpless flutters and tweets sing a sad song to that fills soul with sorrow. I bend down to scoop up the scared creature in my gloved hands. I coo and speak softly as I gently check its little body for serious injury. I know to act quickly because its panic is strong. Cupping it close to the warmth of my body I tug my own glove off and lay it on the ground, a resting spot for the bird until it gets its bearings. I lay it lovingly on the glove as my heart beats quickly for the joy that maybe, just maybe, this little life could be saved. As I rise up to go into the office I hear another little tweet and then nothing. The stillness in the air and the absence of its little wings fluttering tell me that my actions had proved in vain. Its little life was over. Upon reflection I can’t help but see the correlation of his death to the death of this year. How fitting, and sad, that both shall end. However, I shall take heart in this little one’s life and death and continue forward into the near year. Happy New Years Eve!! May your 2013 be filled with Love, Joy, Peace, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, and Gentleness.

Bullying

The other day I found out that one of my students has been the victim of bullying. Pissed me off to no end. She's one of my best students who dances to the beat of her own drum. I remember when I first met her last year and she told me that she wanted to be a UN Interpreter or a Fashion model. She thinks she could both but the stress from both jobs would ultimately be too much so she has to choose between the two.
She's a bit awkward but in an endearing way. I've always been envious of the people who seem to just KNOW who they are and don't give a fig newton what other people think.

To find out that she is being bullied because she dares to be different makes me see red. When I found out about it I wanted to hunt the girl down and demand names, class numbers, and home addresses. Sadly, there is a communication barrier so even if I did find the girls who messed with her I wouldn't be able to say anything that they'd understand.

Thankfully the school is handling it. They are having a meeting today where the bullies are told to join so they can be punished (not physically) by the entire staff. Their parents have been invited as well. Apparently there had been death threats made and it scared her enough to tell her parents.

Her entire middle school life so far has been filled with situations like this. I remember a time last year when her friends decided to make fun of her and call her nasty names. She came to me crying and it took everything in me not to want to step up and find the girls who made her cry. I get possessive and it saddens me that I felt the need to protect her from my students.

I love all of my students dearly and I just wish that they would get along and just be friendly with each other. Kids are cruel though (as are adults) so I'm not sure how this meeting will actually help my girl. In fact, it might hurt her in the long run. I just wish that uniqueness could be celebrated instead of damned. That intelligence could be awarded instead of criticized.

I guess that's asking for too damn much.

Happy Chuseok!

Actually, it's finished, but the party is still going. This year Chuseok fell on one of the biggest festival days in Korea=The Andong Mask Dance Festival!

This entire week I've been lazy and haven't done much. I've gone to the Mask Dance and partied all night and met some pretty cool people. Since this is my third one the excitement isn't as high. I haven't taken any pictures and might not. Really, it's just like last year and the year before.
This time, however, I"m on the commercial for the Mask Dance!! Too bad I can't find it online or else I'd show you. My friend Sara and I were taken from the crowd and asked to learn one of the traditional dances. They were video taping it and it was a lot of fun. :D I feel like a movie star!!

The beautiful part about Chuseok for a foreigner are the days off. I only have to go to school on Thursday and then I'm done for the week. On Friday I get to go on a picnic to a Herb Garden with my 1st graders. I'm hoping for wonderful weather :D Every picnic for the past two years has been rainy and quite depressing.