Wednesday, March 20, 2013

The Ugly Truth

Sometimes I read things from my friends (or people I know) on Facebook and I want to comment. I don't because I know that the truth is Ugly and when you're down the last thing you want to be faced with is the obvious.
So, instead of posting on their walls I'm going to write and reflect here. A safe place where anonymity will filter the truth. If at any point you think I'm talking about you specifically...I probably am.

A girl I haven't seen since high school recently posted a sad poem about her life. She's had a rough life. She's made some bad decisions. However, that doesn't mean she deserves what is happening to her. Yet, when I read her posts I can't help but think of answers to her "Why".

Why has the father of your child, the man who said loves you, suddenly decided that you aren't the one for him?
Is it because he is your man and not your husband?

I really do see the difference. Maybe it's how I was raised but I feel that calling someone "My Man" or "My Girl" doesn't hold a candle to "My Husband" or "My Wife".  Isn't that part of the reason why gay people are fighting for the right to marry? So they can, in a way, say "This person has committed themselves to me for better or for worse. In front of witnesses. Legally and spiritually."

She's not ready to hear that right now. I know.

Or for my friends (myself included) who constantly write about being cheated on, used, etc. I found a wonderful saying today that made everything clearer. If I could find the actual words again I'll edit this post and fix it.
It said something like, "The best thing a man can do is have respect for a woman. The best thing a woman can do is be worthy of that respect".

I interpreted it as...if you want the man to respect you then you yourself have to be respectable.

Makes sense, right? Why would a guy treat you better than a one night stand if you WERE the ONE NIGHT STAND.

Sure, there are people who don't mind the casual encounters. They do the customary number exchange the next day and walk off as if nothing happened.

However, there comes a point in time where that just isn't good enough. You want more. Perhaps the next one night stand could become more. However, why should it? I mean, unless you're lucky and the other person is looking for a forever thing then MAYBE it will work out. I guess I'm just finally seeing how the fragile and meaningless beginning can alter the rest of the relationship.

I mean, if you were easy to have...what makes you not easy to leave?

Ugly truth.

Thursday, March 14, 2013

Weekend please?

This week I've been trying to stay positive...every time something bad happens I try to focus on the good.

Today...right now....I just need to vent. Then I'll be positive.

I had three grade 1 classes. All middle school girls fresh from their elementary schools. One teacher says that the lessons I have are great and the students understand. Even the little extra I did with adding "My Favorite Things" from the musical 'The Sound of Music'.

The other teacher says that it is too difficult. ALL week she has been saying my lessons are too difficult. Today in class she stopped me and suggested/commanded that I go over the answers with the class instead of testing them individually. I was testing them on the stuff we had JUST PRACTICED. So...I followed her 'suggestion' and gave them the answers. Instead of following through with the lesson plan I just gave them the answers. Why try?

Anyways...I think I'm just going to make two separate lessons for this grade. One lesson will be with one teacher and at a normal/higher level. The other lesson will be below average.

I don't know if I'm just not reading the student's reactions correctly or not but one of us is cheating our students. I want to challenge them...not baby them. I don't want to give them something so difficult they'll give up but I want them to see PATTERNS IN ENGLISH and USE THEM IN THE FUTURE.

How can I show them how to put the puzzle together if the teacher tells me to do it for them?



It'll be OK. The weather is grand. I'm buying a GPS tomorrow so soon I'll be outside the city just driving...


Friday, March 8, 2013

made this today...

I had to rush to the potty...only one stall is "western" so I assumed that the Korean lady in front of me would take one of the other available toilets. Nope. She took the last one on the right.

"My spot"


Thursday, March 7, 2013

Kids do the darndest things...

This week is our fist week of classes. My first years get the usual introduction:

Hi, my name is Amanda. I'm from America. I love animals. Etc.

Then we play the BINGO game. They have to find someone who can answer "Yes" to any of the questions that make an "X" on the board.

One question is: "Can you read English upside down?"

Now, this is the first time in the two years that I've had my students do this activity that it was taken quite literally.
A girl, wearing pants, proceeds to do a hand stand to prove that she can read English upside down.

I wish I had my camera!  This class quickly became my favorite class. I'm so happy I have them Friday Morning!!

On a more personal note I found out the hard way that I know absolutely NOTHING about men. In a recent Text message I might have accidentally insulted a man's pride. Actually, there is no "might" about it. I did. I didn't even realize it until my friend pointed it out. It's been a whole day and he hasn't responded to any of my text messages. I've apologized and tried to send sweet messages in hopes of balancing out the really hurtful thing I said.

One friend, trying to console me, said "Well, que sera sera...You were honest and that's what matters"

But I was honest over a TEXT MESSAGE. I should have waited. When I see him all thoughts fly out the window so I thought I should get it out before he makes me forget. *sigh*

What did I say?

Well...We met up last weekend and hung out for a short time. He had to work early so he was rushing me back to the hotel. I was already drunk and more than ready to go back. However, he was really rushing. He walked in front of me (That's a warning bell to me). He then proceeded to quickly get me undressed. We quickly had sex (Don't get me wrong--it was amazing). We quickly showered. He quickly slept afterwards. He apologized for needing sleep but he had to work really early in the morning. He wouldn't get out until late the next day (6am to 10pm). I understood that he needed the sleep but I felt cheap. So, I thought I should let him know how I felt.

I said, in a text message, "Walking was fast, sex was fast, shower was fast, sleeping was fast. I felt bad after"

He said "Sorry" and that's all. Nothing since. :(

Ahhhhhhhh, Kids do the darndest things :(