Sometimes I read things from my friends (or people I know) on Facebook and I want to comment. I don't because I know that the truth is Ugly and when you're down the last thing you want to be faced with is the obvious.
So, instead of posting on their walls I'm going to write and reflect here. A safe place where anonymity will filter the truth. If at any point you think I'm talking about you specifically...I probably am.
A girl I haven't seen since high school recently posted a sad poem about her life. She's had a rough life. She's made some bad decisions. However, that doesn't mean she deserves what is happening to her. Yet, when I read her posts I can't help but think of answers to her "Why".
Why has the father of your child, the man who said loves you, suddenly decided that you aren't the one for him?
Is it because he is your man and not your husband?
I really do see the difference. Maybe it's how I was raised but I feel that calling someone "My Man" or "My Girl" doesn't hold a candle to "My Husband" or "My Wife". Isn't that part of the reason why gay people are fighting for the right to marry? So they can, in a way, say "This person has committed themselves to me for better or for worse. In front of witnesses. Legally and spiritually."
She's not ready to hear that right now. I know.
Or for my friends (myself included) who constantly write about being cheated on, used, etc. I found a wonderful saying today that made everything clearer. If I could find the actual words again I'll edit this post and fix it.
It said something like, "The best thing a man can do is have respect for a woman. The best thing a woman can do is be worthy of that respect".
I interpreted it as...if you want the man to respect you then you yourself have to be respectable.
Makes sense, right? Why would a guy treat you better than a one night stand if you WERE the ONE NIGHT STAND.
Sure, there are people who don't mind the casual encounters. They do the customary number exchange the next day and walk off as if nothing happened.
However, there comes a point in time where that just isn't good enough. You want more. Perhaps the next one night stand could become more. However, why should it? I mean, unless you're lucky and the other person is looking for a forever thing then MAYBE it will work out. I guess I'm just finally seeing how the fragile and meaningless beginning can alter the rest of the relationship.
I mean, if you were easy to have...what makes you not easy to leave?